Philosophy · Book club
Love and Will book club questions
Here are 12 book club questions for Love and Will by Rollo May, ordered to open easily and end somewhere worth arguing about. Copy them, print them, or bring them up one at a time.
Love and Will is Rollo May's attempt to diagnose a civilizational problem: that contemporary Western culture has severed love from will, reducing both to hollow performances.
Rollo May · 1969 · 5h 20m
Full summary and key takeaways →The 12 questions
- 1.
May argues that sexual freedom without depth produces anxiety rather than relief. Does that claim match your observation of contemporary culture?
- 2.
Which of May's four forms of love — sex, philia, agape, and eros — do you think modern relationships most consistently neglect?
- 3.
How do you distinguish between wish and will in your own life? What does genuine decision look like for you?
- 4.
May describes the daemonic as the life-force that can be creative or destructive. Where do you see that energy in yourself, and how do you relate to it?
- 5.
The schizoid posture — emotional detachment as self-protection — is something May sees as pervasive. How does it show up in your social environment?
- 6.
May argues that intentionality, not just action, is what gives experience meaning. What are you currently doing without genuine intentionality?
- 7.
How does the loss of shared myth — religious, cultural, political — affect the possibility of committed love in your own context?
- 8.
May treats the body and the spirit as integrated. What does that integration, or its failure, look like in your own experience of love or desire?
- 9.
Is May's critique of the sexual revolution a conservative argument, a radical one, or something else? What does your answer say about how you frame freedom?
- 10.
Where in your life do you perform connection rather than experience it? What does it cost you?
- 11.
May distinguishes authentic will from mere compliance with social expectation. On what matters in your life are you genuinely willing, rather than just going along?
- 12.
The book was written in 1969. Which of May's diagnoses feel more urgent now than they did then, and which feel dated?
How to run the discussion
- Pick six to eight, not all of them. An hour of real discussion covers fewer questions than anyone expects, and racing the list is what makes a book club feel like homework.
- Open with what people noticed, not what they concluded. Asking for a verdict first hardens opinions before anyone has heard each other.
- Let the disagreement run. The questions below that split a room are the ones worth the time; the ones everyone answers the same way can be skipped.
- Ask the quiet person a specific question. A direct, narrow question is far easier to answer than an open invitation to contribute.
Themes worth steering toward
If the conversation stalls, these are the threads that usually restart it.
Common questions
What are good book club questions for Love and Will?
Here are 12 book club questions for Love and Will by Rollo May, ordered to open easily and end somewhere worth arguing about. The strongest openers ask what each reader noticed rather than what they concluded, and the discussion usually turns on love, will, existential psychology.
How long should a book club discussion of Love and Will last?
Most groups run 60 to 90 minutes of actual discussion. That is roughly six to eight questions, not all of them, so pick the ones that suit your group rather than working down the list in order.
What are the main themes in Love and Will?
Love, Will, Existential psychology, Modern anxiety, Eros. Those are the threads most likely to divide a room, which makes them the useful places to steer a discussion that has gone quiet.
Picking the next one? See books like Love and Will or questions for other book club picks.
