Self-help · Book club
Playing Big book club questions
Here are 12 book club questions for Playing Big by Tara Mohr, ordered to open easily and end somewhere worth arguing about. Copy them, print them, or bring them up one at a time.
Playing Big is Tara Mohr's guide to the internal barriers that prevent women — and many men — from contributing at the level they're capable of.
Tara Mohr · 2014 · 4h 15m
Full summary and key takeaways →The 12 questions
- 1.
Mohr distinguishes pachad from yirah. Think of a risk you've been avoiding. Which kind of fear is actually driving the avoidance?
- 2.
What does your inner critic most often say to you before you take a significant risk? Where does it sound like it came from?
- 3.
Mohr argues that praise can be as constraining as criticism. Can you think of an identity you've been praised into that no longer fits where you want to go?
- 4.
The inner mentor exercise asks you to imagine your wisest self. What advice does that version of you have about the area where you are most playing small right now?
- 5.
If you removed the need for external approval from one area of your work life, what would you do differently this week?
- 6.
Mohr's language chapter argues that over-qualifying speech signals fear. Do you notice hedging or over-qualifying in how you communicate? In what contexts?
- 7.
Hiding in helpfulness is one of Mohr's concepts — over-serving others as a way to avoid exposure. Do you recognize that pattern in yourself?
- 8.
Playing Big is aimed primarily at women, but Mohr says the patterns apply more broadly. Which parts felt specific to a gendered experience and which felt universal?
- 9.
What is one area where you know more than you act like you know? What stops you from leading from that knowledge more fully?
- 10.
Think of someone in your life who plays big. What do they do differently from people who default to playing small, and what can you observe about their relationship to fear?
- 11.
Mohr distinguishes between calling — what you're genuinely drawn to contribute — and the agendas others have placed on you. How much of your current professional direction is calling versus others' projections?
- 12.
If you imagine looking back at this period of your life from age 80, what playing-small choice would you most regret not having reversed?
How to run the discussion
- Pick six to eight, not all of them. An hour of real discussion covers fewer questions than anyone expects, and racing the list is what makes a book club feel like homework.
- Open with what people noticed, not what they concluded. Asking for a verdict first hardens opinions before anyone has heard each other.
- Let the disagreement run. The questions below that split a room are the ones worth the time; the ones everyone answers the same way can be skipped.
- Ask the quiet person a specific question. A direct, narrow question is far easier to answer than an open invitation to contribute.
Themes worth steering toward
If the conversation stalls, these are the threads that usually restart it.
Common questions
What are good book club questions for Playing Big?
Here are 12 book club questions for Playing Big by Tara Mohr, ordered to open easily and end somewhere worth arguing about. The strongest openers ask what each reader noticed rather than what they concluded, and the discussion usually turns on self-doubt, women and leadership, inner critic.
How long should a book club discussion of Playing Big last?
Most groups run 60 to 90 minutes of actual discussion. That is roughly six to eight questions, not all of them, so pick the ones that suit your group rather than working down the list in order.
What are the main themes in Playing Big?
Self-doubt, Women and leadership, Inner critic, Career development, Courage. Those are the threads most likely to divide a room, which makes them the useful places to steer a discussion that has gone quiet.
Picking the next one? See books like Playing Big or questions for other book club picks.
