Power and Love book club questions

1. 1.

   Think of a change initiative that failed. Was the failure primarily from too much power, not enough love, too much love, or not enough power? What does that diagnosis suggest about what was actually missing?

2. 2.

   Kahane argues that the most common failure in do-gooder change processes is love without power — too much emphasis on harmony and inclusion. Does that match your experience of collaboration efforts?

3. 3.

   When in your leadership have you been too deferential or too inclusive, and the result was that nothing actually changed? What would it have taken to push harder?

4. 4.

   When have you seen power exercised without genuine regard for the people affected? What did that cost the effort over time?

5. 5.

   Kahane describes facilitating processes in post-apartheid South Africa and post-conflict Guatemala. What is distinctive about leading change in contexts where power inequalities are stark and historically charged?

6. 6.

   What does it mean in practice to hold power and love in dynamic tension? Can you describe a moment when you or someone you observed did that effectively?

7. 7.

   The book uses Tillich's theological framework of power and love. Does that framing resonate with you, or does it feel like an overlay that makes the practical argument harder to access?

8. 8.

   Kahane describes moments when he himself failed — when he pushed too hard, or not hard enough. What enables a leader to be that honest about their own failures in real time rather than only in retrospect?

9. 9.

   In the multi-stakeholder processes Kahane describes, participants often drop out when the work gets hard. What does that say about the contract you need to establish at the start of any change process?

10. 10.

    The book implies that most large-scale change requires both formal authority and relational trust. Which is more limiting in a context you know, and what would closing that gap require?

11. 11.

    What does genuine accountability look like when you are part of a system that is causing harm, even unintentionally? How do you distinguish accountability from self-flagellation?

How to run the discussion

• Pick six to eight, not all of them. An hour of real discussion covers fewer questions than anyone expects, and racing the list is what makes a book club feel like homework.
• Open with what people noticed, not what they concluded. Asking for a verdict first hardens opinions before anyone has heard each other.
• Let the disagreement run. The questions below that split a room are the ones worth the time; the ones everyone answers the same way can be skipped.
• Ask the quiet person a specific question. A direct, narrow question is far easier to answer than an open invitation to contribute.